Lesson 69 - When Networking Events Fail

The Story

In a quest to create strategic alliances, coalitions, and partnerships, we don't usually allow ourselves to imagine our efforts failing. We don't imagine faltering at building relationships with people, since working with others comes naturally to most people.

It's even harder to imagine that people would decline to help us with our work after they've gotten to know our reputations. It is unthinkable to consider that after doing all the right things, attending the right events, having a polished image, keeping lines of communications open, and establishing proper business rapport, that business ventures set up through network could fail.

We don't typically invest our time, effort, and money in attending events that in some way are not mutually beneficial. For example, frequently benefactors donate large sums of money to their favor charity for several reasons. First, because they support the work the organization is accomplishing, and second, to increase their reputation and prominence in the business community through establishing and advancing their niche in the market place through public relations. Monetary donations also provide tax credit to the donor's organization. So given all that we do to be successful in establishing networks to make our work and events successful, how do we handle networking efforts that fail?

A while ago I began attending an organization called the "Love Corporation's" yearly fundraising event. The first year a friend invited me to accompany her. Each year after that I began attended the event on my own. By the fourth year of participating, I had pretty much gotten to know certain people and these certain people knew me. Many of the relationships I found through this event blossomed into more permanent friendships, with people whom I would communicate with on a weekly basis.

During the fourth year an incident occurred. I asked a certain NBC Washington news anchor if I could interview him for my second book. He agreed, and we had the interview on the spot. Up to that point when we saw each other we would have great conversations. So, when Barbershop Talk was released I sent him a complementary copy. With that complimentary copy, I wrote up an idea for a news story and hoped that he would include my book and me in the story.

It is difficult to admit that through this incident I realized that for four years I read our relationship wrong. He liked my story idea and subsequently aired a story using my idea and suggested topic. However, he didn't include my new book or me, and gave me no credit for the idea! I sat angrily in front of the television and watched him interview other people using my idea without getting any credit as the person to whom the idea was attributed.

My years of networking with him at this yearly event failed. It failed for one reason, because I assumed that he was honorable and would help those who helped him. I was so wrong. Another reason the relationship failed was because I didn't know his work ethic well enough before trusting him with an idea. We never can exactly know what goes on behind the scenes of a news programming business, and journalism, like other professionals, are not always straight and honest.

Maureen Dowd described the way I felt through defining the Woodard-Darman Law that, "A friendship between a reporter and source lasts only until it is profitable for one to betray the other."

The Lesson

What is the best way to handle failed networking events or situations? The best thing to do is evaluate and learn from what happened, why it happened, and how to prevent it from happening again. Though one cannot predict what will happen in every situation, predicting consequences of certain situations comes easier with age and experience. Analyzing all the factors that lead to the specific outcome you desire will allow you to be prepared when the outcomes unfolds. So in retrospect, I was betrayed but in the long run given material to reflect on through which to teach others.

Melvin Murphy is a Consummate Speaker, Noted Author & Certified Seminar Leader. His latest book is title, It's Who You Know! Creating Alliances and Partnerships through Networking. Contact him at: MMurphy833@aol.com


Who Are You and What The Heck Do You Do?

A few years ago, I was attending a family function... Read More

Talk Isnt Cheap

The most successful organizations have good communication skills. Survey after... Read More

Lesson 14 - Whats In A Handshake?

The StoryAs a child growing up, one of the many... Read More

Networking Know-how

Successful networking requires the understanding from the get-go that it... Read More

Building Bridges - The Importance of Being Connected Where You Live

As a Young Professional (YP) in the up-and-coming city of... Read More

9 Ways to Spice Up Your Nametags for More Engaging Conversation

Nametags are worn for a variety of jobs and functions,... Read More

Business Networking - Common Myths and Realities

Can we agree about the meaning of networking? I don't... Read More

34 Power Affirmations for Networking with the Affluent

Here are 34 affirmations I have created after studying the... Read More

Franchisees Should Learn From Each Other

If you own a franchise you should be in contact... Read More

Time to Hire a Professional Networker?

It used to be that people said that there was... Read More

People Know People

I recently entered the keyword "networking" into Google. In 0.13... Read More

Two-Step Your Communication

Ever use someone else to get your message out?For example,... Read More

Client Attraction Technique #2: Networking

One of the most cost effective ways of generating leads... Read More

Networking: Is Your Approach Too Self-Centered?

It's a classic mistake by networkers: their approach is focused... Read More

The Secrets to Networking Success

Recently I was interviewed for a book on networking. My... Read More

How to Turn Water into Lemonade by Giving a Flavored Answer to a Fruitless Question

I remember the first time I opened the fridge to... Read More

Are You Sitting With The Right Company?

When I walked into Dallas's famous Y.O. Ranch Steakhouse, all... Read More

Value-Added Network

A value-added network can be achieved through explicit actions to... Read More

Mary Kay Ash Did It Best... (The Networking Factor)

"The Networking Factor, Everyone is important!" This slogan reminds me... Read More

Community Involvement Networking

It is important for you to join at least one... Read More

Sharpen Your Business Networking Skill To Grow Your Small Business

Most people become lax at maintaining their professional business network... Read More

Social Network Software

My neighbor ? a lovely man I've known, and have... Read More

Communication Is A 2-Way Street (The Networking Factor)

The Personal Touch 1There is a simple art to networking... Read More

Unforgettable First Impressions Part 2: Its All About Them!

Jean de la Bruyere said, "The great gift of conversation... Read More

Lesson 61 - When Does Aggressiveness Turn Into Annoyance?

The StoryWhen attending conferences, conventions, or private events, it's guaranteed... Read More